Crag Sloth: Yosemite 2010

The annual climbing trip to Yosemite was another delight.  It consisted of the folllowing:

• Perfect weather
• Clear night skies filled to the brim with stars, planets, dark mysterious clusters, satellites, aliens, ufos, dark matter, and airplanes.
• plethora of liquor
• plethora of beer
• plethora of Korean BBQ
• It could have been the liquor, but I saw at least 7 shooting stars.
• Climbed the first day at Canopy World after a 3 mile approach into the valley
• During the above mentioned 3 mile hike, we crossed Tuolomne River and waded around in it.  David swam around a bit in it.  I think he mentioned something about his man parts shrinking to the size of M&M's.
• Second day of climbing was at Puppy Dome and consisted of a light spattering of climbing.
• Immediately after Puppy Dome we schlepped ourselves over to Tenaya Lake where we sat around making fun of each other.  David, Jason, Laura and Scott all took a dip in the freezing cold lake.  This is where I imagined the following:
• Everyone's parts just shriveled up and receded back inside of them
• The Tenaya Lake monster was going to get one or all of them
• All four of them will have lost limbs by the end of the day from hypothermia.
• All four people in aforementioned activity survived and were quite happy to have taken a dip in the lake.
• I ended up helping Laura with her portable outdoor shower.  Needless to say we bonded.  The following things didn't occur to me when she asked me to hold up the portable shower for her:
• water is heavy
• I am not able to hold up heavy things up high for prolonged periods of time
• Laura is unable to shower effectively when she is crouched down and bent over cause I am unable to hold heavy things up high for prolonged periods of time.
• It is quite easy to get soaking wet while mishandling a portable shower.
• Shouting "I'm so wet!" in the middle of the campground makes anyone with the mental capacity of a 13 year old boy chortle hysterically.
• water is heavy.
• I have been told that I said the following in a state of complete inebriation:
• "Did you bring your sandwich in the tent?" It was said that I had asked this with what sounded like a hopeful tone in my voice.
• "Jesus, I thought you were in here the whole time!"
• "whoa!" as I was falling off the cooler I was sitting on.
• Wiseman told his stories about the "intense itches" he had during his lifetime.  So intense it drove him to the point of pouring Corn Huskers Lotion down his pants.  Ask him about the story one day...you won't regret it.

Here are some pictures:

that's on the way to Canopy World... you can see Tuolumne River.

David in Tuolumne River...shrinking his balls down to the size of M&M's

Iain the entomologist walking on water.  Cause that's what entomologists are capable of.

This is Laura on the beach of Tenaya Lake.  I think we've done enough bonding for a lifetime.

Tuolumne River...I am posting it cause I like to think it's artsy fartsy.

Wiseman is wearing Laura's floppy hat because ... I don't know why.  His sideburns look weird here...weirder than usual.

That's me!  photo courtesy of Scott Bruce

Me and Wiseman.  photo courtesy of Scott Bruce

My fellow campers: Matt, Scott, Wiseman and Jason

My awesome cot.

5 minutes into camping...

Laura on the way to Canopy World

"OMG! WHERE ARE MY BALLS?!"  Answer: shriveled up inside you. 

Jason's ass by Tuolumn River.

People climbing on Hermaphrodite Flake... or something.  I don't know what that route is called.

crazies in the water.

stay tuned for Yosemite 2011...maybe next time I'll see a bear.